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Author: Karl O. "Skip" Moe, Ph.D., is a psychologist and the Chief of Staff for the National Center for Telehealth & Technology.
We believe “The Holidays” should be joy, fun, good cheer, and enjoyment. Many have high hopes for both the holiday season and the year to follow. The reality is often increased fatigue, pressure, and “the holiday blues.” Probably as many as 1 out of 10 people feel depressed during the holiday period.
- Stress can lead to headaches, excessive eating/ drinking, sleep problems, general irritability -- a real lack of fun.
- There can also be a post-holiday letdown. This can come from emotional disappointments but may reflect nothing more than a physical response to excess stress and fatigue.
Here are a few ways to prevent or, if necessary, cope with holiday blues and stress.
- The holidays have to do with spirituality: It is a time of specific and special spiritual events. It can be a good time to renew spiritual beliefs by spending a little extra time contemplating “the reason for the season.” Beyond that, focusing on faith and spirituality can help with clarifying your goals and motivations.
- Volunteering time to help others can greatly improve mood: Do something for someone else.
- Pace yourself. Plan to enjoy all that the holidays have to offer - but at a pace you can keep. Setting expectations based on a realistic appraisal of time, energy and money, as well as your interests, will help reduce stress.
- Every holiday season is different from previous ones. It is helpful to expect changes and enjoy them rather than trying to completely recreate a previous holiday season. Try something new at the holidays. Novelty can have a very positive effect on mood and stress levels. This year could be just the time to start a new tradition.
- The holidays bring ample opportunities to eat and drink. Much of the food is high in fat content and calories. Drinks are often alcoholic. The result can be the depressive effects of alcohol and a sense of guilt about weight. Good advice is “everything in moderation.” Balancing an increase in food and drink with an increase in exercise can have a number of helpful, anti-depressant effects. Extra exercise might be little more than some additional brisk walking to see Christmas lights and using the stairs instead of riding escalators.
- The hope for many is that the holidays will be a wonderful family time. For some people, that may not be a realistic hope. If some of your family members get you down at other times of the year, there is a good chance they will have the same effect during the holidays. You may not want to avoid them completely, but you may want to limit your time with them. Have a plan for keeping them on a positive track while you are with them.
- Some families have members who are deployed to dangerous places. Seeking support from family and friends who understand what that is like can help greatly. Similarly, seeking out and offering support to those who have deployed family members can help reduce your own level of stress and depression.
- Financial pressures can definitely raise the stress index during the holidays. Deciding in advance (along with family members) on spending limits can go a long way toward managing this potential problem in a positive way.
- Social support is the single best buffer against stress and depression. Plan to spend time with people who are fun to be with. The holidays might be a good time to make a new friend or to contact someone you have lost touch with.
- Genuine grief can be another stumbling block to having a wonderful holiday season. The holidays are supposed to be filled with happiness, but sometimes people will still be grieving the loss of a loved one, a serious illness (loss of health), loss of a job, loss of friends due to a recent move or some other important loss. Sometimes, the best goal is to have a mediocre holiday season -- one that is “OK” but not especially memorable. Setting expectations at the right level can go a long way toward reducing the stress and holiday blues.
If things get really bad, talk to someone. Talk to a friend. Call a Pastor, Rabbi, Priest, Minister. Talk with a co-worker. Be sure to get the help you need to get through the holidays in a positive way.
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