Just Forget About It!

November 2, 2011 2:43 PM

Author: Dr. Annabel Prins is a licensed clinical psychologist at the the National Center for Telehealth & Technology (T2).

When bad things happen, a favorite piece of advice is to "just forget about it". But how do you do that? How do you forget? Some people recommend that you "distract yourself", or "find something else to do", like listen to loud music, surf the web, watch TV or have a drink. It sounds so easy, but let's see how well it works with an example that is simple and mundane.

Think about the numbers 1, 2, and 3. That's right, just take a moment to think about the numbers 1, 2, and 3. Now, forget about it. Forget the numbers 1, 2, and 3. Erase them from your mind and memory. Try hard. Try really hard. Imagine that you will get a million dollars if you forget about the numbers 1, 2, and 3. Imagine that your life depends on you forgetting the numbers 1, 2, and 3. Can you do it? Can you really forget the numbers 1, 2, and 3, even if the stakes are high, or especially when the stakes are high?

Of course, the answer is no. It is impossible to forget by trying to forget. You can't will or motivate forgetting. It's not possible. In psychological research, trying to forget a thought or memory is sometimes called suppression. The problem with suppression is that it backfires, instead of thinking about the numbers less, you think about them more. And, the more effort you put into trying to forget (remember the million dollars?), the greater the backfire.

Sometimes, if the source of distraction is very compelling, and you're not "trying" to suppress, you may believe that the numbers have been forgotten. But with time, and quiet, and even sleep, the numbers come back. Check this out with your own experiences. Are there unwanted dreams or intrusive recollections that you experience over and over again? Are these related to how much you try NOT to think about them?

If suppression doesn't work with unwanted thoughts and memories, what does work? The answer appears to be facing your unwanted memories head on. How you face them, however, appears to be pretty important. Talking and writing about your experiences can be helpful, but when, where, and how you talk or write about them can make a big difference. For example, finding a good listener or knowing what to include in your writing can be tricky. Afterdeployment.org can help you find a good listener or you can discuss the topic in the Peer-2-Peer forum. You can also get a sense of how others have faced unwanted memories by watching a few videos. If you decide to write about your experiences, the Post-Traumatic Stress Workshops can provide some helpful guidance.

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Real Warriors www.realwarriors.net The Real Warriors Campaign is an initiative launched by the Defense Centers of Excellence for Psychological Health and Traumatic Brain Injury (DCoE) to promote the processes of building resilience, facilitating recovery and supporting reintegration of returning service members, veterans and their families.	Brainline Military www.brainlinemilitary.org Living with traumatic brain injury (TBI): help for service members, veterans, national guard, reserve, and families.	My Healthevet www.myhealth.va.gov Sesame Street Workshop’s Talk, Listen, Connect and Family Connections are multimedia initiative that guides military families through multiple challenges, such as deployments, homecomings, and changes that occur when a parent comes home.	National Center for PTSD www.ptsd.va.gov The National Center for PTSD is a center of excellence for research and education on the prevention, understanding, and treatment of PTSD. The center has seven divisions across the country.	Defense Centers of Excellence www.dcoe.health.mil The National Center for PTSD is a center of excellence for research and education on the prevention, understanding, and treatment of PTSD. The center has seven divisions across the country.	National Center for Telehealth and Technology t2health.org The National Center for Telehealth and Technology (T2) researches, develops, evaluates, and deploys new and existing technologies for Psychological Health (PH) and Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) across the Department of Defense (DoD). T2 is a component center of the Defense Centers of Excellence for Psychological Health and Traumatic Brain Injury.	Deployment Health Clinical Center www.pdhealth.mil The Deployment Health Clinical Center (DHCC) aims to improve deployment-related health by providing caring assistance and medical advocacy for military personnel and families with deployment-related health concerns. DHCC serves as a catalyst and resource center for the continuous improvement of deployment-related healthcare across the military healthcare system and the Center is a component of the Defense Center of Excellence (DCoE) for Psychological Health and Traumatic Brain Injury.	Center for Deployment Psychology deploymentpsych.org The Center for Deployment Psychology aims to promote the education of psychologists and other behavioral health specialists about issues pertaining to the deployment of military personnel. The CDP is a tri-service center funded by Congress to train military and civilian psychologists, psychology interns/residents, and other behavioral health professionals to provide high quality deployment-related behavioral health services to military personnel and their families.	Center for the Study of Traumatic Stress www.centerforthestudyoftraumaticstress.org The Center for the Study of Traumatic Stress (CSTS) is dedicated to advancing trauma-informed knowledge, leadership and methodologies. The Center’s work addresses a wide scope of trauma exposure from the consequences of combat, operations other than war, terrorism, natural and human-made disasters, and public health threats. CSTS is a part of Uniformed Services University (USU), and its Department of Psychiatry, as well as a partnering center of the Defense Centers of Excellence (DCoE) for Psychological Health and Traumatic Brain Injury.	Defense and Veterans Brain Injury Center www.dvbic.org The Defense and Veterans Brain Injury Center (DVBIC) serves active duty military, their beneficiaries, and veterans with traumatic brain injuries (TBIs) through state-of-the-art clinical care, innovative clinical research initiatives and educational programs. DVBIC fulfills this mission through ongoing collaboration with military, VA and civilian health partners, local communities, families and individuals with TBI. DVBIC is a component center of the Defense Centers of Excellence (DCoE) for Psychological Health and Traumatic Brain Injury.	National Intrepid Center of Excellence www.dcoe.health.mil The National Intrepid Center of Excellence is an advanced facility dedicated to the research, diagnosis and treatment of military personnel and Veterans suffering from traumatic brain injury (TBI) and psychological health challenges.	U.S. Department of Defense www.defense.gov The mission of the U.S. Department of Defense (DoD) is to provide the military forces needed to deter war and to protect the security of our country. The DoD engages in war-fighting, humanitarian aid, peacekeeping, disaster relief, and homeland security. The Department is currently headed by Secretary of Defense Robert Gates and is headquartered at the Pentagon.	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